


XV. Collapse

by causeimdifferent



Series: Wanted [15]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Love, Love Triangle, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/causeimdifferent/pseuds/causeimdifferent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting caught in the act - the aftermath:</p><p>Carson is in shock.</p><p>So is Thomas.</p><p>Who tries to save Jimmy.</p><p>Who tries to save Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	XV. Collapse

Carson looks even more shocked than Thomas feels.

Which means quite something, as Thomas is feeling so sick with dread he’s shaking.

Which may have to with what happened last time he got caught doing things involving cocks in mouths.

 

Only that back then it was him who had the cock in his mouth.

It belonged to a neighbor’s boy.

Thomas was 14.

And the man who blundered in was his father.

He beat him up so hard Thomas could barely walk for days, let alone see through the slits that were his swollen eyes.

His father kicked him out of the house (literally), telling him never to return, unless he wanted to get his head ripped off, as well as other body parts.

Thomas took that advice to heart.

He left for the city, broken as well as broke. Forced to make money on the way.

Which was quite possible for a pretty boy like him, as he very quickly learned.

But it was also quite ugly.

Not always, but way too often still.

 

Eventually it got better. Thomas managed to make it better.

Finally escaping that life by getting into service by means of good looks and good luck.

Thomas tried to forget those early years of hardship.

He managed. Just so. Sometimes he still has dreams.

 

But now, that he is standing in front of Carson, the man he was yearning to win over as a substitute father of sorts in the very early days,

(but failing miserably asThomas just couldn’t let him in about himself. Lest Carson might find out about his past.)

now all those memories, of getting hurt and kicked out to be left all by himself on the streets,

now all those memories are washing over him like a huge wave.

Wiping him out.

 

“ _It was not, what it looked like_?” Carson’s voice has a strange pitch, that Thomas has never heard before.

The butler is as white as a sheet, his hands are clutching the backrest of a chair.

“Don’t take me for a fool, Mr. Barrow. This was _exactly_ what it looked like.”

“Yes and no, Mr. Carson.” Cold sweat trickles from Thomas’s temple. “What I am trying to say is, that … it was not Jimmy’s idea.”

Carson glares daggers at Thomas: “Why am I not surprised?”

“He went along because … he’s just confused, he … he’s not at fault. He is not like me.”

The door crashes into Thomas’s back, pushing him further into Carson’s bedroom.

And Jimmy stumbles inside.

 

“Don’t believe one word he says, Mr. Carson.”

“Jimmy, please …” Thomas says weakly.

“No, Thomas. Shut up!”

“Jimmy, don’t do this.”

“It was my idea, Mr. Carson, alright? _My_ idea. Whatever Thomas says, it is not true.”

Carson’s eyes flicker from one to the other, too flabbergasted to find any words.

 

Thomas buries his face in his hands.

“Jimmy get out.”

“No.”

“Get out or I’ll make you.”

“You’ll have to.”

Thomas spins round, grabs Jimmy by the arms and shoves him into the corridor.

“Don’t believe one word he says, Mr. Carson!” Jimmy shouts as the door bangs close in front of his face, Thomas leaning against it with his back to keep him from coming in again.

 

“This is a madhouse”, Carson says, more to himself.

“Please, Mr. Carson, I’ll be gone tomorrow, but spare him.”

Carson glowers at Thomas: “James has not the slightest reason to put blame on himself, if it wasn’t for telling the truth. Why on Earth do you protect him.”

“Isn’t it obvious, Mr. Carson?”

Carson’s face is a blank – then the message trickles in.

And his face softens.

There. And gone.

Yet long enough, for Thomas to see he got it.

Just for a second there is a sympathy in Carson’s eyes that makes Thomas choke up.

Having longed for it for so long, without even being aware of it anymore.

 

“It is impossible to keep you both under this roof after this.”

“I know, Mr. Carson.”

“It may come as a surprise to you – but I’d prefer to keep you, rather than James.”

Thomas tries to stifle a sob, but fails.

“I’ll find a footman of his qualifications way easier than a reliable under butler with your skill and your knowledge about the house and the family.”

Thomas stares at Carson, still leaning against the door, like a boxer after a punch.

Tears running down his cheeks.

Carson's expression is forcedly composed.

“Go to bed, Thomas”, he says, unable to hide the hint of strain in his voice. “We talk tomorrow. But make sure, there are no further interruptions tonight or I will send James packing right this moment.”

 

The instant Thomas steps out into the corridor, Jimmy’s hands are on his collar, shaking him like a limp doll: “Why are you telling him those lies, you bloody idiot?”

“Jimmy, Jimmy, calm down”, Thomas hisses, desperate. “Or your life on the streets starts right now. When you walk out of this door, you have nowhere to go, am I right?”

Jimmy lets go of him, fear flickering across his face.

”I’ve been there, Jimmy – and trust me, it is the last thing you want.” Thomas whispers. “Not even for a single night.”

"But Thomas", Jimmy says, "where will _you_ go?"

 

 

 


End file.
